idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
