pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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