He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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