Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
