did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
