Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
