And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
