Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
