i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You took a bar mat shot.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
