Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize