Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
