You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
