I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
