toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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