It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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