Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
