Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
