he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
