I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
