i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
