I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
