So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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