I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
