My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
