Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize