:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
