At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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