Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
