her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
