Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
