Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
