you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dicks are not precious.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
