I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
