I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
