Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize