you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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