You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
