finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
