why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
