i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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