Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
