Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
