so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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