Its about making memories worth repressing
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
