office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone says I win the strip club
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
