the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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