i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
