I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
