it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
