Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
