the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize