Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
