my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
