I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
