my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
