how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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