im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
