Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize