i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
