Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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