That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
