Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
