If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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