May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
