Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
