I cannot find my penis.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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