i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
